


Stay with me/I don't want to go away from you

by AleAbuela



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drama & Romance, F/F, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Original Character Death(s), Past Relationship(s), Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:28:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22761718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AleAbuela/pseuds/AleAbuela
Summary: "Why when i close my eyes, i see yours?"
Relationships: Choi Yerim | Choerry/Jeon Heejin, Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Park Chaewon | Go Won, Jeon Heejin/Kim Hyunjin, Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Kudos: 23





	1. Part one

**Author's Note:**

> A story featuring a dark melancholic Hyejoo and a bright pretty Chaewom

> _“It is a sunny day, how weird. Usually the sky is covered in clouds, or it’s raining. But for the first time in a couple of weeks the sky is clear, and we can appreciate the sunlight. I don’t know what to think about that, I prefer the cloudy weather over the sun scorching my pale skin, but seeing how happy the people around are, makes you want to endure it”_
> 
> The scribbles that the pen in Hyejoo’s hand made, resonated in her ears, and even if she tried to keep her inspiration flowing, it was no use, she could feel her mind going blank at the worst possible moment. Being a student of literature as she is, essays are everything for some teachers, so this first assignment is very important for her grades, and lucky enough it’s about feelings. She is the silent melancholic kind of girl, who enjoys sad music, as she reads a good book. That’s one of the reasons she choose literature as her major, because one day she would like to become a teacher, and show her students the poetry of loneliness. But, feelings are hard for her. She just hopes it changes with time.
> 
> The pale girl sighed, and stood up from her spot in the grass.
> 
> “I seriously need a girlfriend” She muttered to herself. Her hands became busy as she threw her notebook inside her backpack, then passed them through her charcoal black hair. 
> 
> She began to walk, her hands shoved in the pockets skater pants, and hummed the song her big headphones was blasting, her distinctive point. As she was walking, a soft body collided with her own, resulting in the air knocked from her lungs, and almost falling on her butt.
> 
> Hyejoo scowled and was going to curse the person, but it was a girl. A crying, beautiful one, who bowed quickly, and ran for her dear life, the long platinum hair moving with grace along the wind. The black-haired girl stared in confusion after the back of the girl. She looked quite familiar, but Hyejoo doesn’t remember exactly who is.
> 
> “Only weird stuff happens to me” She told to no one.
> 
> “That is true, kid. I think you are going crazy, all alone talking to no one” Sooyoung said, as she swung her arm towards Hyejoo’s shoulders, the older was dressed in a casual black hoodie, quite similar to Hyejoo’s one. “Look at that, we match again”
> 
> “Kill me, please” was the annoyed response, even if the insides of Hyejoo turned to mush. Happily taking the hug from someone dear to her.
> 
> Even if Sooyoung didn’t notice it, Hyejoo smiled softly at her friend, and actually hugged back. Sooyoung is one of her best friends in the world, the other black short haired girl is a bit nosy sometimes, and who only thinks about girls and dance, but Hyejoo wouldn’t trade her for nothing.
> 
> Sooyoung smiled back, dumbly, after a few blinks.
> 
> “What got you so worked up?” the older girl asked, as the duo began to walk towards the dorms, Hyejoo shook her head, thinking about the encounter as something nothing out of the ordinary. She just was confused about the thumping of her heart and the pounding of her head.
> 
> “Nothing, just being my weird self”
> 
> Sooyoung chuckled, pulling her denim jacket tighter around her body, a content look on her face as their shoulders brushed with each step they took. They are from different majors, Sooyoung is studying international relations to please her overbearing family, even if all she wants to do is dance professionally.
> 
> “I noticed it” her voice was quiet, but held amusement.
> 
> Hyejoo laughed happily, one of her hands scratching a spot besides her ear, feeling wither hand the long string of piercings along the outer shell of her left ear. Her mother almost had a heart attack when she saw them, while her father just shrugged his broad shoulders “Kids being kids” and went back to read a newspaper. 
> 
> “You got yourself a new tattoo” It was a statement, and the voice of her friend was more curious than judgmental, Sooyoung’s long fingers caressed the black cross behind her ear, and chuckled again, knowing what it meant.
> 
> A body is like a canvas, ready to become a piece of art, well that’s what Hyejoo thinks about tattoos, and that’s the reason almost her whole body is covered in them. Her step father is a tattoo artist, and the old guy contacted one of his friends to make the appointment with Hyejoo to make a change on her image. Obviously, when Hyejoo’s mom discovered this, even the hell froze with her fury. But the damaged was done, and Hyejoo loved the results. Her poor mother told her that she was fine with the piercing in her ears, but it would take time to get used to the tattooed body, she just wished her step father gave a heads up.
> 
> The bad side of her image; it’s the glaring she gets on streets, mostly coming of old people. They treat her as if she is a criminal, no matter how she dresses, white dress shirts and black pants, the people stares at her as if she is the circus coming to town. And well, being a really tall girl doesn’t help that much.
> 
> Even, some people in college have weird looks directed at her. The only people who doesn’t do that, is her step father and Sooyoung, both actually approve of her new self, knowing that she is happier this way.
> 
> Sooyoung actually wanted a tattoo too, but doesn’t want to anger her single mother anymore, the sleeping around has the woman with enough headache.
> 
> “Yeah, Dad accompanied me, it’s only a cross this time”
> 
> Sooyoung nodded, and took Hyejoo’s left hand, which was covered in a lot of symbols.
> 
> “I can’t believe you tattooed your course of Greek mythology in your skin”
> 
> They entered the cafeteria, and Hyejoo’s held the door open for Sooyoung. The girl smiled in thanks, and ruffled her hair, winking cutely. Hyejoo’s shook her head again, and couldn’t help but steal a look at the short skirt Soyoung’s is wearing, wondering how she gets the confidence to wear some clothes.
> 
> “It’s not the actual course, but in a spur of a moment, I wanted some notes of my favorite class, it helps me to concentrate”
> 
> They quickly encountered Yerim and Heejing chatting happily. Sooyoung scratched her chin, studying the two with narrowed eyes, and then shrugged one shoulder. Her face becoming blank, and a little shy around them. But she doesn’t know why she felt weird, so suddenly.
> 
> That was one thing Hyejoo found interesting in Sooyoung, the great contrast of her personalities. Shy but a femme fatale on dancing stage, just like her own image.
> 
> Heejin waved, and Yerim winked naughtily. Hyejoo wonders why she is looking at her like that, but being her closest friend, she knows she will ask later about it.
> 
> “Hi, guys” Heejin’s voice was deep but had a soft feminine quality, Yerim took off her leather jacket revealing a black fitting shirt, she is losing weight, Hyejoo noted.
> 
> “Heejin” muttered Sooyoung, and patted her head. Chosing to collapse in the nearest chair, quite ungracefully.
> 
> Hyejoo sat down next to Yerim, and unzipped her own hoodie, her arms were covered in ink.
> 
> Yerim stared at the body of her friend, with an open mouth.
> 
> “My face is up there, Yerim”
> 
> The purple haired laughed loudly, gaining a few annoyed looks that she ignored.
> 
> “Seriously, Hyejoo, if my dad didn’t beat the hell out me, I’d like to have one or two tattoos like yours, it amazes me how they look” Those words always sounded so calm coming from Yerim’s mouth, as if she doesn’t care about how it sounds, she just smiles carelessly, even if the joke may have some truth in it.
> 
> Hyejoo smiled proudly and puffed out her chest as she modeled for her friends her arms covered in ink that displayed beautiful drawings, flexing her arms and feeling good about choosing to wear her new black sleeveless shirt.
> 
> They were chatting happily, even Yerim, with the scars on her face, a band aid on her nose and fading black eye, was laughing until her stomach hurt. Sooyoung clapped her hands, and let her arm hug Heejin’s body against her. Those were the happy moments that Hyejoo lived for.
> 
> Until they heard someone slammed their hands on a table and stormed off the cafeteria, pushing out of their way innocent people in a fit of rage.
> 
> Yerim was startled, a side effect from the traumas of her childhood. And Hyejoo’s eyes looked for the person, surprised to find the girl from before. This time she got to see the girl’s face clearly and has to clear her throat in hopes to clear her mind.
> 
> No surprise it was a really pretty girl, so princess like. The girl- next door actually, a korean sweetheart kind of beauty, dressed in a nice yellow dress and high heels. Her face was twisted in a sad emotion, combined by the shame the scene must be causing her, and even there were tears rolling through her porcelain skin.
> 
> Hyejoo felt something inside of her hurt. Seeing that girl embarrassed at the outburst of her companion hurt Hyejoo. The pain in her chest made her lower her head, she wanted to embrace the other girl, and protect her. It was a strange sensation. She is confused by the strong reaction.
> 
> The need to protect someone other than you, of being selfless. It was new to Hyejoo, and it took her breath away.
> 
> When Yerim carried on as if nothing happened, Hyejoo felt as if the time was moving normally again, as if she wasn’t frozen in time, the music of the cafeteria reached her ears again.
> 
> The girl brushed her face with a trembling hand, and tried to smile. The other people in the room went back to their business, and no one was paying attention to the girl, other than Hyejoo. The girl has platinum hair, curlier at the ends, a curvy body that stole more than one glance, and Hyejoo felt ashamed that her eyes wandered a little down, she willed them to stay at the girl’s face. The girl was the perfect combination of beauty and cuteness. But, she was the polar opposite of Hyejoo, and that discouraged the poor lonely girl.
> 
> Platinum hair and black hair.
> 
> Pink and girlish clothes, vs black non-gender ones.
> 
> High heels vs black boots.
> 
> Pale soft skin vs toned tattooed one.
> 
> But not everything its as it seems, maybe they aren’t as different as they look like.
> 
> Heejin sighed, and walked to the lonely girl, not bothering to give an explanation of her actions to her friends.
> 
> Hyejoo saw as the two girls talked and Heejin smiled encouragingly, and signaled their table with her head. She even took the other one’s hand, and Sooyoung perked up, with curious eyes.
> 
> “Oh, it’s Chaewon” she said, in a distracted tone “I almost didn’t recognized her; she used to go by dark brown hair, wasn’t it?”
> 
> Chaewon arrived accompanied with Heejin, and presented herself with a friendly smile, as if the scene that happened before didn’t happen. The thing is that the group of friends is the shy kind, so it was kinda a cold welcoming. She still tried to be polite about it.
> 
> “Hey, darling” Sooyoung smiled lazily, with a glint on her eyes “Long time no see, Chae”
> 
> Chaewon smiled and took seat beside her, her appearance elegant but frail. Yerim scratched the scar beside her mouth, and blushed lightly at the offered hand of Chaewon, coughing to clear her throat, knowing how she must like, all fucked up, with bruises all over her face and body, not a nice day to meet a pretty girl.
> 
> “I’m Yerim and this goth is Hyejoo” the voice of Yerim was happy even if she was in a rough shape.
> 
> Chaewon’s eyes and Hyejoo’s ones met, and the young Hyejoo felt her stomach clench at this, feeling desire course through her veins. She bowed a little her head, and Chaeown giggled somehow charmed by Hyejoo’s gesture and good look.
> 
> “Hi” Chaewon giggled again, and then shook Yerim’s hand, then extending a hand for Hyejoo to take. “My name is Chaewon. Nice to meet you”
> 
> Hyejoo smirked, and took the hand, amazed at the softness of the hand and how well it fits in hers, and marveled at the contrast, a pure white skin against her own full of black patterns.
> 
> Chaewon turned her head to chat with Sooyoung, quite loudly as if she was trying to distract her mind about unwanted thoughts, talking about some childhood memories shared between them, the two used to live in the same neighborhood. The new comer is a happy and funny girl, all smiles and giggles. But sometimes, Hyejoo could see a glimpse of the sadness she is so trying hard to cover. She wanted to know more about Chaewon, her gut telling her to do so.
> 
> But eventually, Chaewon told them she had to hurry because of an oncoming exam, and said goodbye to them, hugging extra longer a Sooyoung.
> 
> Her pretty eyes lingered on Hyejoo, who made a fool of herself, tripping on nothing, her face red as tomato of embarrassment. And then, the girl left without any other word.
> 
> Yerim frowned confused by her friend’s strange behavior.
> 
> “Hyejoo, what was that?”
> 
> Hyejoo only stood up, avoiding the stares of her friends and excused herself, mentioning briefly that it was her time for exercise.
> 
> The remaining friends could only watch, in utter confusion. Because Hyejoo is not the typical person who has crushes or is interested in girls or boys. And, still she acted like someone from high school that got a crush for the first time. Yerim is reluctant to think about her friend’s love life, when she herself has problems to get close to people.


	2. Part 2

> Yerim is the kind of girl that doesn’t know how to read some emotions. But not because she doesn’t have them but because she is full of them. After Hyejoo left, she thought it was better to do her own things, like some essays to write or write some lyrics just for fun.
> 
> Or maybe call her older sister. The one that became like her mom, and took care of her, when her own parents failed at it, the one that protected her when her father became too much.
> 
> She left the cafeteria, waving goodbye to Heejin, her heart skipping a bit, because the smile on the girl’s face. Sooyoung was looking around for one of her lovers and didn’t pay much attention to Yerim, honestly, Sooyoung only cared for Hyejoo and that hurts.
> 
> Yerim sighed, the scar in her lips tingling. Her long purple hair swayed with the sudden gust of wind, and she shivered. She wondered if she scared Chaewon with her appearance, and was glad that her black eye was looking better and better, she should stop getting in trouble.
> 
> There are good things about being patched up, her pain tolerance is really high and she can endure a lot, another good thing about the scars that cover her body is that they made her look like someone tough and nobody dares to mess with her. There are some hot rumors about her running along the campus, and being Hyejoo’s best friend only add fuel to the fire. Such legends they are.
> 
> Her phone beeped. A text message. Her hands shook as she read it.
> 
> It was her sister, Jungeun. Asking about having dinner with her, in the new apartment she recently bought.
> 
> Yerim spent a good minute thinking about her older sister. The way the girl chose to cope with the trauma their terrible childhood left is very different from her. And sometimes, Yerim tends to worry about that coping mechanism. Her sister used to battle with alcoholism and used to sleep around to get some kind of warm that their house lacked. There were times where her sister stopped eating and slept till very late, only to go partying alone and return to that empty routine. She used to worry for one day to find her dead. Jungeun had to frequently visit the hospital in her teen years. And until she had an abortion, she found how the lowest point in her life felt like. Thank God, there was her best friend Jiwoo and the parents of the girl to help her through those difficult times. And if she has a moment of relapse, Jiwoo is here for her, being a strong rock. Yerim is very grateful for that presence in her life.
> 
> When Yerim was little she had to watch how her parents almost beat to death her sister, and threw her out of her house, and to this day she doesn’t know the reason for that argument. But she knows her parents, and they didn’t need a particular reason to hurt them.
> 
> It was very hard, it continues to be hard to deal with all the anger inside. To not, march and beat hell out of everyone for so much as look in her way. But she tries, she strongly tries. Her therapist has been a great help, and she has Jungeun and Jiwoo’s support, so she still tries. Even if there are moments where she explodes, she wouldn’t have a black eye if she had mastered the art of suppressing anger.
> 
> Still she tries for Jungeun, she got the scholarship to study in college, and manages to have good grades. All the sacrifice her older sister made for her, she has to success.
> 
> Even if the nightmares don’t stop haunting her.
> 
> II
> 
> Sooyoung was walking beside Chaewon in the way back to the dorms. The two of them were silent, and Sooyoung almost forgot she had company. It was an empty silence, the one that makes you feel dizzy, because you don't know what is happening around you. A dense silence. Their shoulders brushed occasionally, and that was the only reason that made Sooyoung aware of Chaewon. She still is amazed how composed the other girl is, if Sooyoung’s boyfriend dumped her so cruelly like Chaewon’s did, she would be bawling her eyes out, and cursing everyone. How different both girls are.
> 
> Chaewon changed her clothes to something very alluring, a really tight white blouse and a skirt with flowers (the shortest she had seen on the younger girl). So feminine like her, and it makes her feel unwanted urges, it’s been so long since something between them happened and suddenly she feel the ache in her chest. The wind caressed her shoulder length hair, and it was like a scene from a shoujo anime. Chaewon could be the heroine from a novel, she is that charming.
> 
> While, Sooyoung is more like the rebel kind. She hates to be attached, and her feelings have dulled over the years. There’s another gust of wind, and she is glad that she put on some sweat pants.
> 
> “It always amazes me how only around them you are capable of smile” the voice of Chaewon was soft and curious, not trace of hurt in it. Sooyoung stared at her, with a smile on her face, it was false, because it didn't reach her eyes. “The way you act around them is so shockingly different to the real you, that I want to tag along only to see Hyejoo's Sooyoung, you are actually nice to them, how surprising”
> 
> Sooyoung chuckled, her hands balling into fists, unconsciously. The words of Chaewon were true, and the truth in them cut deeper than any knife on Sooyoung's skin.
> 
> “Who do you like better? Hyejoo's Sooyoung or me?” Her voice was almost emotionless, only held a trace of curiosity. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her hoodie, a flashback of her younger self watching through a window a small Chaewon laughing with her parents as she practiced complicated ballet moves surprised her mind, how she used to hide behind a door, to watch for hours the practice of the ballet class.
> 
> Chaewon stroke her chin as she was thinking deeply about the two faces of Sooyoung, and how both of them were different but still Sooyoung at the end. She ended up choosing that answer.
> 
> “In the end you are still Sooyoung”
> 
> Sooyoung frowned, confused by the answer, her hands trembled about what that could possibly mean. Her heart jumped at the stare Chaewon’s was giving her, and she wanted more, she looked away, it was not use. They were different people.
> 
> “What does that mean?”
> 
> Chaewon smiled, and stopped walking, her face was warm, and the sight made Sooyoung's heart swell.
> 
> “I think you know what that means, but in the end, it doesn't matter, right?” She turned around “I'll go this way” with her head she signaled her dorm building “I guess I forgot I am supposed to be mourning and crying alone”
> 
> Sooyoung felt paralyzed by her feelings, the yearning for Chaewon was overwhelming, too much for her, her stomach clenched, and she closed tightly her eyes, knowing that maybe what she was about to do was a grave mistake. But still she did it. She did grab Chaewon’s wit her shaking hands, and just sighed.
> 
> “You don’t have to be alone, you know?” Her voice was low and full of want, a mere whisper, but Chaewon understood what it meant. She has always known Sooyoung like the back of her hand. So it didn’t take her that much, to caress Sooyoung’s face, whom closed her eyes with a sigh, and got on her tiptoes to kiss Sooyoung’s jaw.
> 
> “Okay”
> 
> Sooyoung felt something inside of her; bleed like a wound that never heals. That’s what Chaewon is to her, a wound that is rotten and never heals. But even if it costs her pain, it’s welcomed. A memory played behind her eyelids, the vacant space inside her body screamed her loneliness at the world, she could only close her eyes, and feel her boredom swallow her whole, she remembered those times where their touches were innocent and she only had platonic feelings for the younger girl. But when desire comes to play it’s difficult to separate it from their friendship. She leaned down with a needy sigh and pressed her warm mouth to Chaewon’s lips, they were as soft as she remembered them to be, and tasted like strawberry, the perfume that the girl was wearing was making Sooyoung’s head spin with need.
> 
> “Let’s go to your room, shall we?”
> 
> A shadow passed through Chaewon’s face, as if she was actually in pain and Sooyoung’s words only deepened the hurt, but then It disappeared as fast as it came, she nodded with an alluring smile. Her soft hand wrapping the lager hand of Sooyoung, who marveled at the feeling of her clenched stomach and the thought of their joining skin.
> 
> Chaewon guided her through the maze of the dorm, Sooyoung have been there on a couple of occasions with people she doesn’t remember anymore, still a couple of girls turned their faces towards them, and some of them stared judgingly at the back of Chaewon’s head, as if they were angered towards her for Sooyoung’s presence.
> 
> “Oh, don’t mind them” Chaewon whispered “They are always like this” she seemed to notice the troubled thoughts swirling on Sooyoung’s head.
> 
> “I don’t want to get you in a mess, I don’t want for anyone to gossip about you” Sooyoung was sincere. She really values Chaewon to see her as just some easy girl to fuck.
> 
> “Well, don’t worry, I am in a hell of trouble right now, if you hadn’t noticed my current boyfriend dumping me in front of everyone in the cafeteria”
> 
> “Current boyfriend?” Sooyoung was confused.
> 
> Chaewon giggled.
> 
> “He will come back, it’s not the first time he did that scene, or” she scratched her chin, “if he knows about us, I don’t know if he’ll come back, though”
> 
> Sooyoung was lost at the words. They came to a stop in front of Chaewon’s room, the younger girl fumbled with her keys for a while, as if she was nervous. Then she stared into Sooyoung’s eyes, with a serious face.
> 
> “Are you sure about this?”
> 
> “Yeah”
> 
> Sooyoung kissed Chaewon, and it felt right.


End file.
